At a loss as to what to do after I bought my (and the cats) super strength joint supplements from a local health food shop. I trundled along the shopping mall concourse and being the adventurous type decided to find an exit through a part of the mall I never venture down, throngs of weekend shoppers passed me by in a heated scent of consumerist fervour. I soon found myself standing in front of a jewellery store, its window display overflowing with trays of watches immersed in super florescent lighting.
I stopped and considered all the glittering timepieces presented before me, the passing crowd now ebbing away along with traces of social anxiety they always bring out in me. Like some beady eyed magpie caught by the glint of something out of the ordinary, I found myself wondering if there was any other creature so fascinated over time as human beings? What makes us so preoccupied with measuring it, does the grandeur of owning a watch piece makes us any better at mastering the passage of time and how did our ancestors consider time before the advent of personal watches?
Way back in the mists of history (there was a lot of fog back then) my ancestor Deryik had a typical day divided into two parts, the light bit and the dark bit , shiny warm thing in the sky for the first half, so you can get up and muck about then come home when it got dark and cold.
On occasion a little shiny thing plus lots of really little shiny things filled the dark sky, it could get pretty spectacular especially beside an open fire, with roasting chicken wings and flagons of grog etc, plus the occasional dragon and sabre tooth tiger, which were out there, nobody knew where but we were all agreed they were defiantly out there, that much we did know.
The year was divided into four parts, namely; bloody cold, not so cold, warm, and not so warm. Nature for the most kept pretty regular on the timekeeping front, and even if you weren't bothered about the cold, the trees and flowers always kept reminding you which part of the year you happened to find yourself in anyway, brilliant, time knew it's place.
As a species we have become regimented and time retentive for want of a better term, time fixes us into the other three dimensions , the penultimate fourth dimensional nail in the walking existence we call everyday normality.
And what exactly are we saying through our body language when adorned with gaudy timepieces ? is it "look at me! I've got my own bit of jangly shiny time wrapped around my wrist" or are we tagged much like remand prisoners on day release, as that's the only other time recording device I know of which appends to the human body in both function and "fashion".
In actuality watch manufacturing is now relegated to a cut an paste computer aided design that automatically configures production machinery that spews out streams of identikit watches, to be assembled in some far flung third world factory shop floor. Where lowly paid workers tasked with quality control could live for a month nay a year on the "Recommended Retail purchase" (whose recommend?) price as advertised in this suburban palace of consumerism. AKA as confirmed by yours truly now transfixed by the glittering timekeeping hype layered out before me like some kind of timepiece porn.
Back in my parents day the very few conversations I ever recall around wrist watches( as opposed to pocket watches) would involve the precision and engineering it presumably took to make, and better still how many "jewels" it held. I'm still at a loss as to what that actually meant. I could never find said treasure and for all I knew these jewels were alongside a time keeping genie enclosed within the back case that positively defied removal bestowing an almost life like aura to the device, saying that I only ever saw the word jewels on my parents watches I simply assumed mine had to have some in order to make it work or at least that's what I told Tommy Wilkinson in the school playground - much like finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist - I also broke the news to him that his watch was crap as it didn't have as many jewels as mine.
I remember conversation around watches inevitably concerned was it's capability (those fabled jewels again) in not "losing time".
All things considered no wonder getting your first wristwatch was a rite of passage, a literal coming of age and all that it entailed, to lose time set my imagination racing.
As my beady but now slightly glazed eyes took in the scene before me, one watch of the "G-Shock" variety with over sized watch face complete with green luminous buttons attached to the sides of a miniature Olympic stadium strapped around ones wrist with what looked more like an off cut of my trouser belt.
For the benefit of my readers I should point out that I was looking at the "adult" watch display, (I did check) How I smirked at the over frothing imagination one would need to believe such an edifice would complement one's sense of style or even worse as my blood chilled to the realization that such artefacts could be the herald of utter social chaos and depravity until I saw the true source of my concern was in fact the reflection of a large group of shoppers now being reflected in the shop window.
Smirk as I did, it wasn't long before I found myself considering some glorious time piece faux pas's of my own. I am guilty of having far too many watches than I actually need, but how many timepieces are too many? I think more than two functioning pieces should suffice a gentlemen of good character as to have any more is really an invitation to madness, I can vouch for that.
The last watch I purchased buoyed my green credentials to new heights as it never requires a battery, and I'm not talking about those technologically avant garde self winding watches of the 60/70's powered as they were by dubious wrist actions of the wearers.No this watch has a miniature solar panel built into the dial face and so long as I never live in the polar regions or drop it into the back of a sofa and it's perpetual darkness this watch will keep -as it seems- perfect time.
Smugly content about such eco friendly timekeeping, I strove through the day safe in the knowledge that my green credentials were now "+1" with fellow eco advocates while the slope headed heathen watch wearers and their toxic lithium powered landfill timepieces belonged to the ignominious past.
The realization that the raw materials used in my Eco-watch combined with transportation and production techniques have probably polluted a greater volume of the planet , than any of my forebears could have imagined.
The only personal time piece that's Eco friendly is a stick in the ground or on a grand scale Stonehenge, our ancestors got it right, the Sun , Moon and stars indeed Mother Nature is the way to go when measuring the passage of time while any watch that can actually "lose time" is a friend indeed.
I stopped and considered all the glittering timepieces presented before me, the passing crowd now ebbing away along with traces of social anxiety they always bring out in me. Like some beady eyed magpie caught by the glint of something out of the ordinary, I found myself wondering if there was any other creature so fascinated over time as human beings? What makes us so preoccupied with measuring it, does the grandeur of owning a watch piece makes us any better at mastering the passage of time and how did our ancestors consider time before the advent of personal watches?
Way back in the mists of history (there was a lot of fog back then) my ancestor Deryik had a typical day divided into two parts, the light bit and the dark bit , shiny warm thing in the sky for the first half, so you can get up and muck about then come home when it got dark and cold.
On occasion a little shiny thing plus lots of really little shiny things filled the dark sky, it could get pretty spectacular especially beside an open fire, with roasting chicken wings and flagons of grog etc, plus the occasional dragon and sabre tooth tiger, which were out there, nobody knew where but we were all agreed they were defiantly out there, that much we did know.
The year was divided into four parts, namely; bloody cold, not so cold, warm, and not so warm. Nature for the most kept pretty regular on the timekeeping front, and even if you weren't bothered about the cold, the trees and flowers always kept reminding you which part of the year you happened to find yourself in anyway, brilliant, time knew it's place.
As a species we have become regimented and time retentive for want of a better term, time fixes us into the other three dimensions , the penultimate fourth dimensional nail in the walking existence we call everyday normality.
And what exactly are we saying through our body language when adorned with gaudy timepieces ? is it "look at me! I've got my own bit of jangly shiny time wrapped around my wrist" or are we tagged much like remand prisoners on day release, as that's the only other time recording device I know of which appends to the human body in both function and "fashion".
In actuality watch manufacturing is now relegated to a cut an paste computer aided design that automatically configures production machinery that spews out streams of identikit watches, to be assembled in some far flung third world factory shop floor. Where lowly paid workers tasked with quality control could live for a month nay a year on the "Recommended Retail purchase" (whose recommend?) price as advertised in this suburban palace of consumerism. AKA as confirmed by yours truly now transfixed by the glittering timekeeping hype layered out before me like some kind of timepiece porn.
Back in my parents day the very few conversations I ever recall around wrist watches( as opposed to pocket watches) would involve the precision and engineering it presumably took to make, and better still how many "jewels" it held. I'm still at a loss as to what that actually meant. I could never find said treasure and for all I knew these jewels were alongside a time keeping genie enclosed within the back case that positively defied removal bestowing an almost life like aura to the device, saying that I only ever saw the word jewels on my parents watches I simply assumed mine had to have some in order to make it work or at least that's what I told Tommy Wilkinson in the school playground - much like finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist - I also broke the news to him that his watch was crap as it didn't have as many jewels as mine.
I remember conversation around watches inevitably concerned was it's capability (those fabled jewels again) in not "losing time".
All things considered no wonder getting your first wristwatch was a rite of passage, a literal coming of age and all that it entailed, to lose time set my imagination racing.
As my beady but now slightly glazed eyes took in the scene before me, one watch of the "G-Shock" variety with over sized watch face complete with green luminous buttons attached to the sides of a miniature Olympic stadium strapped around ones wrist with what looked more like an off cut of my trouser belt.
For the benefit of my readers I should point out that I was looking at the "adult" watch display, (I did check) How I smirked at the over frothing imagination one would need to believe such an edifice would complement one's sense of style or even worse as my blood chilled to the realization that such artefacts could be the herald of utter social chaos and depravity until I saw the true source of my concern was in fact the reflection of a large group of shoppers now being reflected in the shop window.
Smirk as I did, it wasn't long before I found myself considering some glorious time piece faux pas's of my own. I am guilty of having far too many watches than I actually need, but how many timepieces are too many? I think more than two functioning pieces should suffice a gentlemen of good character as to have any more is really an invitation to madness, I can vouch for that.
The last watch I purchased buoyed my green credentials to new heights as it never requires a battery, and I'm not talking about those technologically avant garde self winding watches of the 60/70's powered as they were by dubious wrist actions of the wearers.No this watch has a miniature solar panel built into the dial face and so long as I never live in the polar regions or drop it into the back of a sofa and it's perpetual darkness this watch will keep -as it seems- perfect time.
Smugly content about such eco friendly timekeeping, I strove through the day safe in the knowledge that my green credentials were now "+1" with fellow eco advocates while the slope headed heathen watch wearers and their toxic lithium powered landfill timepieces belonged to the ignominious past.
The realization that the raw materials used in my Eco-watch combined with transportation and production techniques have probably polluted a greater volume of the planet , than any of my forebears could have imagined.
The only personal time piece that's Eco friendly is a stick in the ground or on a grand scale Stonehenge, our ancestors got it right, the Sun , Moon and stars indeed Mother Nature is the way to go when measuring the passage of time while any watch that can actually "lose time" is a friend indeed.
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